A look ahead: Cinema 2009

And I thought oh-eight was great.

Here is an abbreviated list of movies opening in 2009. In no way is this list complete, but it is the largest list Pick-Up Flix has undertaken for a movie preview. As always, see you at the movies.

— Michael Clawson

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Notorious
The Scoop: It's a bio-flick on slain rapper Notorious B.I.G. as he works up from rock-slinger to hip-hop superstar. By the looks of the trailer, the film portrays Sean "Puffy" Combs (here played by Derek Luke) as Biggie's driving force and also his downfall.
Why Care? The young actor Jamal Woolard does a mean Biggie, voice and all.

Opens Jan. 16

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Taken
The Scoop: A retired spy, who plays hardcore bad-ass like he knows what he's doing, goes on the hunt for an abducted daughter traveling in France. The first trailers reveal too much, though: she is abducted by human smugglers
Why Care? Liam Neeson, who will next play Abraham Lincoln in a Steven Spielberg project, looks convincing as the desperate dad in this sleek international thriller.

Opens Jan. 30

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Coraline
The Scoop: A little girl finds a secret door that leads to another world that mirrors her own with some scary deviations. The plot might be in direct competition with Where the Wild Things Are (see below).
Why Care? The stop-motion animation looks delightfully quirky. Also, there’s a movie poster for each letter of the alphabet. Clever stuff!

Opens Feb. 6

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Fanboys
The Scoop: Star Wars dorks travel to George Lucas’ ranch to steal Episode I for a dying friend. Along the way they meet some real Star Wars actors and William Shatner, who shats his dialogue like usual.
Why Care? The movie makes fun of, and also cheerfully embraces, Star Wars culture. It almost didn't come out, though, with so much wrangling over the elements of the plot. At one point, the real fanboys seemed to revolt until producers blinked and agreed to release the film as it was originally written.

Opens Feb. 6

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He’s Just Not That Into You
The Scoop: Women fall into and out of love in Baltimore.
Why Care? The female cast: Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson and Drew Barrymore. On the bad side: Besides having a terrible title — almost as bad as I Think I Love My Wife — this flick will attempt, and fail, to create meaningful stories in a post-Wire Baltimore.

Opens Feb. 6

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Franklyn
The Scoop: A Matrix-y dark sci-fi that looks half dream, half dominatrix hell, where a guy with a mask gets revenge against a totalitarian state for a variety of things, some of which might involve a very hot Eva Green. The trailer has lots of guns, kung-fu and rain, because fighting always looks cool in the rain.
Why Care? It's writer/director Gerald McMorrow's pet project. Don't bother look for a McMorrow in your Rolodex, though — this is his first big movie. And by the looks of it, he went all out with special effects, stars and a killer dystopian sci-fi landscape.

Opens Feb. 20

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Watchmen
The Scoop: Superheroes and villains of all makes and models clash in Alan Moore’s graphic-novel-turned-film. Seriously, there's a guy named Owl Man, or Owly, or Owl Hawk ... have all the good superhero names been taken?
Why Care? I’m not sure really. Ask a Watchmen fanatic. It all looks like superhero mumbo-jumbo to me. Beware, though: the movie might be delayed by courtroom litigation.

Opens March 6

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Race to Witch Mountain
The Scoop: Two kids with other-worldly powers must be protected from our UFO-killing government by a meathead who was formerly a professional wrestler, the fake kind.
Why Care? Disney has brought in Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to anchor this kid-friendly remake. But does anyone seriously remember the original?

Opens March 13

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Duplicity
The Scoop: Corporate spies join forces to plunder a lucrative business deal from beneath their respective boss’ feet.
Why Care? Clive Owen and Julia Roberts, both as sexy as ever, reunite for the first time since Closer.

Opens March 20

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I Love You, Man
The Scoop: A guy with no friends has to find a bromance in time to have a best man at his wedding.
Why Care? Paul Rudd and Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) are comic dynamite.

Opens March 20

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Monsters vs. Aliens
The Scoop: Aliens invade Earth and all hope rests on a group of monsters who have been secretly imprisoned by the US government. The monsters include a fishy creature, a blob of blue ooze, a gerbil, a cockroach and Susan, a 50-foot homemaker.
Why Care? The first trailers paint wild, inventive fun across the board. Although, it is no Pixar.

Opens March 27

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Fast & Furious
The Scoop: Felony-collecting gearheads unite to rev engines and bring down a drug dealer with fast wheels. The first trailer, which is apparently half a scene from the movie, shows that the stunts have become more outlandish and the cars more acrobatic.
Why Care? Vin Diesel, who’s been absent from the series for two entries, returns. Apparently, he can now talk at a rip-roarin' six-words-a-minute.

Opens April 3

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Dragonball Evolution
The Scoop: A warrior summons all his mystical powers to fight a force greater than anything seen in a magical kingdom where orbs control the balance of power among fighters. (I can't read that sentence without wanting to club a Dragonball fan in his mouth.)
Why Care? It’s a hit anime cartoon. Children who’ve seen the show will dig it; adults most definitely won’t.

Opens April 8

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The Soloist
The Scoop: A reporter (Robert Downey Jr.) discovers life in a gifted musician (Jamie Foxx) who’s homeless and kinda loopy.
Why Care? Jamie Foxx, love him or hate him, plays crazy all too well.

Opens April 24

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine
The Scoop: The origin story of Wolverine, the X-Men’s tough-as-nails bruising rogue. Oh, and he has retractable claws that can cut anything, even those knives that never go dull.
Why Care? Hugh Jackman has done Wolverine with great success three times before. His return should be fun.

Opens May 1

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Next Day Air
The Scoop: A deliveryman drops a drug shipment to the wrong address. Trouble soon follows. Hey, wasn't this the big conflict at the end Three Men and a Baby?
Why Care? Lyricist lounger Mos Def, who stars here, is almost a better actor than a rapper, which is no easy feat.

Opens May 8

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Star Trek
The Scoop: So begins the life of James T. Kirk. The film will introduce us to the Enterprise, deep space, Spock and everything else in the Trekkie universe.
Why Care? Because Captain Kirk isn’t played by William Shatner (Chris Pine this time), and because director J.J. Abrams (TV’s Lost) has made this new Trek a real action film, not just men in jumpsuits falling down on that bridge set.

Opens May 8

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Angels & Demons
The Scoop: Religious expert Robert Langdon uncovers a terrorist plot at the Vatican. The weapon: anti-matter, of which a single grain can evaporate the heal and toe of Italy.
Why Care? Ron Howard again directs Tom Hanks in a film based on a book by Dan Brown (The Da Vinci Code). Catholics should love it because it shows a high-ranking cardinal doing all kinds of un-Catholic things in their Holiest of Holies, the Vatican.

Opens May 15

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Bruno
The Scoop: Sascha Baron Cohen plays a flamboyantly gay fashion designer as he experiences American culture in the style of Borat. We've already heard of Bruno staging a coup at a fashion event. No doubt the lawsuits are already pending.
Why Care? The full title is Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt.

Opens May 15

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Terminator: Salvation
The Scoop: The computers have scorched the Earth and taken out most of humanity in a nuclear holocaust. All that’s left is the human resistance led by John Connor (Christian Bale). Finally, we get to see the world that three movies attempted to stop.
Why Care? Even though McG (Charlie’s Angels) is directing, Bale can be trusted, especially after his Batman reinvention.

Opens May 22

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The Brothers Bloom
The Scoop: Grifter brothers wine and dine an heiress out of her money, but not without falling in love with her and her eccentric, infectious spirit.
Why Care? Adrien Brody and Rachel Weisz are magical. No really, Brody does this thing with a cigarette through a coin that's pretty neat.

Opens May 29

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Up
The Scoop: An old hermit, tired of living in a construction zone, affixes millions of balloons to his house and floats away. A Boy Scout tags along for the adventure that stretches across the United States.
Why Care? Up is a Pixar film, and Pixar films are as close to perfect as the cinema gets.

Opens May 29

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Land of the Lost
The Scoop: Will Farrell and friends discover a prehistoric land of dinosaurs and absurd creatures. The look and feel of this one is supposed to be cheesy and fake, so maybe it will be fun.
Why Care? Because it’s based on the old serials, it’s campier than Jurassic Park.

Opens June 5

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The Year One
The Scoop: Two lazy cavemen (Jack Black and Michael Cera) are exiled from their village and must survive on their own in their prehistoric world.
Why Care? Harold Ramis, the geeky Ghostbuster, is directing. His résumé also includes episodes of The Office, Analyze This, Groundhog Day and Caddyshack. It better be better than that 10,000 B.C. or that other ug-ug caveman movie with Darryl Hannah.

Opens June 19

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The Scoop: Optimus Prime and other transforming Autobots fight off waves of Decepticons to protect a human who saved the day in the first Transformers.
Why Care? Transformers, they’re more than meets the eye. And Megan Fox, inexplicably branded the hottest person alive by too many magazines, is back. I hated the first Transformers — fueling even more Michael Bay hatred — so I wish this one nothing but bad reviews and broken film splices.

Opens June 26

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The Road
The Scoop: A father and son seeking warmer climates south walk a deserted road in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Along the way they meet skewered babies, roving cannibals, legless buffets and The Wire's Omar.
Why Care? Viggo Mortensen looks like he brings the father from Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel to life. To obad this movie has been delayed; the release date is still not final.

Opens first half of 2009

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Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
The Scoop: A sloth, mammoth, and saber-toothed tiger leave the Ice Age to join dinosaurs in prehistoric times.
Why Care? The animation looks beautiful and John Leguizamo’s silly sloth voice is hilarious, if also very mean toward people with speeth impedemenths.

Opens July 1

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Public Enemies
The Scoop: Law enforcement pros attempt to take down a set of notorious gangsters, including John Dillinger, in 1930s Chicago.
Why Care? 1. Michael Mann (Miami Vice, Heat) is directing. 2. Christian Bale stars. 3. Johnny Depp stars. 4. No other reasons are even required.

Opens July 1

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2012
The Scoop: The Mayan calendar ends in 2012. Apparently, so does the planet unless a group of scientists stop it. But if the Mayans were so smart, why aren't they doing Ponzi scams in New York City today.
Why Care? The movie is directed by Roland Emmerich, who also did another world-ending adventure, The Day After Tomorrow. The trailer shows a giant wave destroying a Buddhist temple. Apparently, these giant waves never get old since we see them in every one of these movies. At this point Emmerich is just plagiarizing himself plagiarizing.

Opens July 10

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The Scoop: Harry Potter starts his sixth year at Hogwarts and, of course, everything goes haywire with evil villain Voldemort running loose. This year has big revelations for Dumbledore, Harry’s wise magician principal.
Why Care? The movie was supposed to come out in 2008, but was delayed, with much sighing from Potter fans, to this summer. I understated that: in reality, when news came that the movie would be delayed, Potter fans all at once shit themselves.

Opens July 17

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The Taking of Pelham 123
The Scoop: Armed terrorists hold a New York City subway car hostage until the police come through with a huge ransom. Strangely enough, the subway car they hijack has urine and/or vomit on at least three seats.
Why Care? Great cast: Denzel Washington, John Tavolta, Luis Guzman, John Turturro and James Gandolfini, who we don't see enough since The Sopranos.

Opens July 24

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Funny People
The Scoop: Adam Sandler plays a terminally ill comedian who makes friends with a novice opening act.
Why Care? Judd Apatow (40-Year-Old Virgin) might actually — although, no promises — give Sandler a reason to be funny again. And the cast is huge: Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman and the RZA.

Opens July 31

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G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra
The Scoop: Villainous terrorist cell Cobra must be eliminated by G.I. Joe, an elite company of soldiers.
Why Care? Besides girls (and even some of them), who didn’t play with G.I. Joe action figures as youngsters?

Opens Aug. 7

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Inglourious Basterds
The Scoop: American soldiers strike fear in Nazi-occupied France by terrorizing Axis forces with unmerciful brutality.
Why Care? Quentin Tarantino has been working on this grindhouse remake for years. And Brad Pitt stars. But what gives with the spelling of the title?

Opens Aug. 28

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9
The Scoop: Miniature sack people must journey through post-apocalyptic landscapes when their futures are threatened by creepy villains.
Why Care? The first trailer looks amazing, the voice cast (with Elijah Wood in the lead) is perfect and it’s being produced by Tim Burton, no newcomer to nightmarish visions.

Opens Sept. 9

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Shutter Island
The Scoop: A US marshal looks for a murderer who may have escaped to a remote island.
Why Care? It’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s fourth film with Martin Scorsese. Expect greatness, as alawys.

Opens Oct. 2

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Where the Wild Things Are
The Scoop: A hell-raising little boy in his pajamas disappears into a make-believe world inhabited by friendly monsters and bizarre vistas.
Why Care? Creative genius Spike Jonze has toiled on this for years, which either means it’s brilliant or a disaster. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Opens Oct. 16

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Amelia
The Scoop: A look into the life of pilot Amelia Earhart, who is still missing to this day.
Why Care? Hilary Swank, one of the most graceful acting forces of the modern age, plays Amelia, who was probably a lesbian. Not that lesbian pilots is a problem or anything. It's the lesbian men that worry me.

Opens Oct. 23

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A Christmas Carol
The Scoop: An animated version of Ebenezer Scrooge’s nighttime journey into his past, present and future. Based on the book by Charles Dickens, that author people quote to 100-percent guarantee to make you feel like an idiot for not reading. The 87-percent guarantee is typically Dostoyevsky. The 3-percent guarantee is the author of those Clifford books.
Why Care? Robert Zemeckis (Polar Express) has animated stars Jim Carrey and Gary Oldman for nearly every role. Zemeckis' motion-capture methods are improving, but are still kinda creepy.

Opens Nov. 6

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The Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Scoop: After stealing from three greedy farmers, a rambunctious fox and his friends are set upon by all sorts of traps and torture devices that are sure to ruin a fox’s day. Sly as a you-know-what, this canid won’t be undone. It’s based on a Roald Dahl book.
Why Care? It’s director Wes Anderson’s first foray into animation. And Anderson is a genius.

Opens Nov. 6

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The Wolf Man
The Scoop: A shaggy American turns into an even shaggier werewolf.
Why Care? Benicio Del Toro could be a werewolf without any makeup.

Opens Nov. 6

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New Moon
The Scoop: More emo teen angst with Bella and vampire Edward.
Why Care? Because Stephenie Meyers’ books have captivated the fans no longer captivated by Harry Potter.

Opens Nov. 20

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Sherlock Holmes
The Scoop: Detective Sherlock Holmes, with his sidekick Watson, pokes around a murder that threatens all of England. No word on the hounds or the the baskervilles.
Why Care? Holmes is based on Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous character, directed by Guy Ritchie and stars Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. And because Guy Ritchie needs our support now that he’s Madge-free.

Opens Nov. 20

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The Lovely Bones
The Scoop: A murdered teen watches over her family and murderer from beyond this world.
Why Care? Peter Jackson, still fresh off King Kong and Lord of the Rings, tries out a softer, although still dark, story.

Opens Dec. 11

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Avatar
The Scoop: A war veteran joins in the salvation, or is it exploitation, of an exotic world on the brink of war. It’s being billed as a new kind of science fiction film.
Why Care? After years of documentaries and IMAX films, James Cameron directs an honest-to-goodness real movie.

Opens Dec. 18

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Killing Pablo
The Scoop: American intelligence and Columbian military hunt down and kill cocaine profiteer Pablo Escobar.
Why Care? For starters, Christian Bale has a role in director Joe Carnahan’s drug flick. And also because this is a bona fide film version of Medellin, the movie-within-a-show on HBO’s Entourage.

Opens late 2009

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Cinema Spectacular — 2008

This seems to be written in this space every year, but I must write it again: What a great year for movies.

After more than 100 years of filmmaking in America, there are still unheard stories, unfilmed subjects and unknown dramas. This year in film seemed to accentuate the human drama that exists in our world: good and evil (The Dark Knight), kindness (Happy-Go-Lucky), love (Wall•E) and personal triumph (Milk, Slumdog Millionaire). There is so much we can still learn and feel from film, and 2008 proves it. Here is the evidence.

— Michael Clawson

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1. Wall•E

The most human movie of the year stars a robot, which should hardly be surprising from Pixar, a film studio that could bring meaningful life to a jelly donut if a story called for it. Pixar’s talented storytellers and animators — and voice artist Ben Burtt — have done more than inject life into Wall•E, though: they have transplaneted real personality, humanity even, into their little trash-compacting robot. Abandoned on a junk-covered Earth, Wall•E chugs away at his clean-up directive while scooting around to Hello, Dolly! songs. After meeting a vegetation scanner named Eve, Wall•E embarks on an intergalactic rescue mission that changes the course of human history. As much satire as it is an environmental plea, Wall•E is fundamentally, at its core, a brilliant character study, where the robot’s actions, motivations and heart-wrenching love for Eve are on full display. It's so rare to even think this, let alone type it, but here it goes: Wall•E is a perfect movie.

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2. Slumdog Millionaire

So authentic are the Indian locations of Danny Boyle’s cultural and visual extravaganza that the stench and filth seem to waft from the screen in hazy plumes, but the characters and culture are so captivating you’ll want nothing more than to see it firsthand, slums and all. Films tend to romanticize India, but Slumdog shows it as it is: a collision of squalor, crime and decay (India’s past) with engineering marvels and a burgeoning computer industry (India’s future). Stuck in the middle is Jamal (Dev Patel), who’s appearing on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?, where he gives more correct answers than a poor “slumdog” should. Between show tapings he’s beaten by a local police officer to find out how, or even if, he’s cheating. The movie is Jamal’s life story as he tells it to the police detective: orphaned young, living on the streets, conning tourists at the Taj Mahal, begging for change, crime with his brother and love with a girl from his old neighborhood. Slumdog’s a travelogue, a romance and a great tragedy all at once. It’s also so much more — it’s food for the soul.

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3. The Dark Knight

Yes, Heath Ledger is very good. As is Christian Bale; when is he not? But The Dark Knight is a monumental film because of writer and director Christopher Nolan, who extends his themes — mainly, the duality of man — way beyond those two-dimensional comic pages. He also creates real mythology for his hero and villains: “You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” Nolan has not only made a human drama with depth, but he’s created an intense thrill ride, spectacular visual effects, a compelling romance, rich dialogue and characters that matter not just to the plot, but to us. And that shot of the Joker hanging out the car window as it weaves through Gotham is perfect in its composition and its lunacy. Every piece of The Dark Knight works and works skillfully.

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4. Milk

Milk is a brave movie because it presents Harvey Milk, America’s first openly gay elected official, with all his character flaws. It doesn’t deify him, but shows him to us just as he was: devilishly funny, romantic, charmingly blunt with a distinctive speaking style and occasionally very single-minded. It helps, of course, that Sean Penn plays him the way only Sean Penn can, with great humanity and honesty. Here's an interesting observation: Picture Penn as Penn talking in his own voice. I can't do it; I just his characters. That is an actor.The Gus Van Sant film follows Milk as he moves to San Francisco’s Castro district, falls in love, starts a business and, after witnessing ratcheting persecution against gays and lesbians in the area, runs for a city office on a gay platform. The movie dangles tension above our heads when Milk meets another city official, Dan White (Josh Brolin), who will eventually go on a shooting spree in city hall. Yes, I’ve revealed the end, but it should be a historical fact, not a spoiler. The movie presents a dilemma that still rages today: is sexual orientation a religious issue or human rights issue? Milk knew the answer. He lived the answer.

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5. Gran Torino

So Dirty Harry retires. Clint Eastwood directs himself in one of the most provocatively racist films ever made. Snarling to no end, he plays a retired Korean War veteran who’s at odds with his Hmong neighbors, who annoy him for simply being Hmong, or anything that’s not white. In between his racial tirades and unrepentant Catholic shame, Clint accepts his neighbors as his friends and saves them from the Asian gang that terrorizes their street. But the movie is more than that. It’s an examination of two generations: the old generation, which is callous to the new world and all its integrations, and the young one, which is quick to forgive. Clint Eastwood is a treasure to the pictures, this one in particular, but he might be upstaged at times by his younger actors, who smile through his snarls and accept him for the curmudgeon he is.

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6. The Reader & Revolutionary Road

Kate Winslet excels at everything she touches. A Colgate commercial with her in it would make for riveting television. This was her year, too. In The Reader, she plays a teenage boy’s first lover, who is later revealed to be a former guard at a Nazi death camp. The movie, which should not be mistaken for a Holocaust picture, is a careful examination on shame, particularly with the boy, who refuses to speak up at a pivotal junture. In Revolutionary Road — in which Winslet is directed by her husband Sam Mendes and reunited with Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio — she is a loving ’50s-era housewife who’s not ready for life in the suburbs and dreams of a trip to Paris that never comes. Here she plays the role society wants her to play — homemaker — only to abandon it when her husband perpetuates a myth that never happens. Winslet doesn’t just memorize her lines for her films; she becomes the characters. And she also plays them with affection, as if she really liked who they were, or at least understands their motivations. She’s one of the most gifted actresses working now and these are two prime examples of her craft.

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7. The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke guts himself, his real self, right up there on the screen in The Wrestler. Yes, Randy “The Ram” Robinson is a fictional character, but you can’t look at The Ram and not see Rourke. Randy is a has-been wrestler — fake television wrestling, not real Olympic wrestling. His life oozes from all sides, fading away into oblivion. His muscles ache so he takes steroids. Wrestling gigs in VFW halls don’t pay well so he becomes a supermarket butcher. His love life is gone so he socializes at the topless bar. You can’t look at Randy and not feel pity, or just great sadness. But director Darren Aronofsky doesn’t frame him that way; he gives Randy and Rourke room to move, to show their gentle spirits resonating behind the tough exteriors. And Marisa Tomei, in one of the performances of the year, plays a stripper who needs a second chance as much as Randy.

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8. The Visitor

A man returns to an apartment he has not lived in for several months. There is a couple sleeping in his bed, using his things; they’ve been duped into paying rent to a man who doesn’t own the place. Who’s the visitor here: the intruding couple or the man who owns the apartment? The movie is a meditation on that and other questions about visitors, sometimes called immigrants or aliens, or maybe even illegal aliens. The star is Richard Jenkins, who performs his role so carefully that it’s almost a whisper. His character befriends the couple and then, curiously and inexplicably, learns to play the drum as a form of expression. Eventually there is an arrest and a threat of deportation, and a mother appears to give a son guidance. Again, the issue comes up: Who is the visitor? The answer is either everyone or no one, but not both.

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9. Happy-Go-Lucky

Sally Hawkins’ character in Happy-Go-Lucky, a lovable sprite named Poppy, could have been a blissful caricature. Instead it’s so real it’s heartbreaking. Mike Leigh’s movie is all about Poppy. There are other characters, but everyone and everything revolves around her. There’s no plot really, just adventures with Poppy, who lunches with friends, visits a sister, talks to a homeless man and takes driving lessons. Poppy is infectiously happy, so much that it makes others uncomfortable. Her sister views her smiles as sarcastic insults on her suburban lifestyle. The driving instructor mistakes her kindness for attraction. Everyone seems to take issue with her optimism. It’s a parable on the world we live in, where we feed off negativity. More than anything, though, it’s a character study on Poppy. And Hawkins aces it.

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10. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Director Guillermo del Toro is the visionary this age of filmmaking not only desires, but requires. He has taken an absurd story about a kitten-loving demon and made it into a rich fantasy of equal parts dream and nightmare. This is not the first time he’s toyed with our imaginations (remember Pan’s Labyrinth?) and it’s unlikely to be his last now that he heads into The Hobbit. Hellboy, played by Ron Pearlman, is a gentle giant with a mean left hook. He’s poetically glib about everything, except Liz (Selma Blair), who he adores to no end. The story is fun, and it’s told using humor and wit, but really the showpiece here is del Toro’s dark creature creations and elaborate fantasy settings.

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Honorable Mention: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Here is my guilty pleasure. It’s a Judd Apatow comedy with a third-rate star (Jason Segel) and a pointless series of romantic comedy setups. But it has heart, and it’s not afraid to break it to serve its theme. When the male and the female can finally vent to each other why their relationship never worked they come to this realization: they both failed, which is an observation that is entirely too honest for a movie this dumb to be sharing. Like Lil' Wayne sampling Chopin. Somehow, though, amid Segel's wiggling penis and Kristen Bell's winking bikinis, the movie finds a relationship's decaying soul and mercy kills it in one crushing swipe. You will hear echoes from your own failed relationships in this movie, and listening to these characters’ struggles can be cathartic. And that Dracula song from the puppet musical is the best song to emerge from a movie all year long.

Phoenix Film Critics Go Slumming

Yes, I'm still alive. It's been like 45 days and I return to what may be end of the world: Brendan Fraser and Adam Sandler have new movies in previews, Tom Cruise is getting decent write-ups for his new flick, and poor Marisa Tomei deserves an Oscar for posing for this photo.

In case you're curious (you're not and it's OK), I've been away buying and renovating a house. And since my newspaper has drastically reduced my movie coverage, there's really been no reason to post new material even if I have been keeping up on the new flicks, and seeing some old ones in between. Consider this my return, though, and I shall never abandon my faithful readers (all 12 of you) again.

But before new reviews start appearing here, first some housekeeping. Here are the winners for the annual Phoenix Film Critics Society awards. The PFCS, which I've been a member of for several years, has also launched a new Web site here. Check it out. Here are the 2008 winners:

Best Picture — Slumdog Millionaire
Best Director — Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor — Sean Penn, Milk
Best Actress — Meryl Streep, Doubt
Best Supporting Actor — Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress — Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Best Acting Ensemble — Milk
Best Original Screenplay — In Bruges
Best Adapted Screenplay — Slumdog Millionaire
Best Live Action Family Film — High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Overlooked Film — In Bruges
Best Animated Film — Wall-E
Best Foreign Language Film — Let the Right One In
Best Documentary — Man on Wire
Best Original Song — "The Wrestler" from The Wrestler
Best Original Score — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Cinematography — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Film Editing — Slumdog Millionaire
Best Production Design — The Dark Knight
Best Costume Design — The Duchess
Best Visual Effects — The Dark Knight
Best Stunts — The Dark Knight
Breakout on Camera — Dev Patel, Slumdog Millionaire
Breakout Behind the Camera — Martin McDonagh, In Bruges
Best Performance by a Youth (Male) — Ayush Mahesh Khedekar, Slumdog Millionaire
Best Performance by a Youth (Female) — Dakota Fanning, The Secret Life of Bees

Top Ten Films of 2008 (in alphabetical order):
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Frost/Nixon
In Bruges
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire
The Visitor
Wall•E
The Wrestler

Buckle up for Chi

Sorry for the month-long hiatus. I just bought a house and I've been painting and remodeling before I move in. I have some cool stuff in the pipeline, like an interview with Doug Jones, who plays Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies, and last week I saw Bond's latest, Quantum of Solace, so a review is almost ready to be posted. Check back soon for full-length posts.

But before all that, I had to post something on Deftones bassist Chi Cheng, who was seriously injured in a car accident in Northern California earlier this week. According to a recent posting on the band's page by singer Chino Moreno, Chi's in serious but stable condition. Chi's mom is by his side and — like any concerned mother — has asked the band to spread the word on Chi's condition and things we can do for him. First up: wear a seatbelt. Whether Chi was wearing one or not doesn't really matter anymore, but we can all do him and ourselves a favor by strapping in before we (be quiet and) drive.

And in case you've been living in a thatched hut for the last 20 years, the Deftones are one of the most important (if also underappreciated) bands making music now. From Adrenaline's raw ferocity to White Pony's devestating grace to Saturday Night Wrist's subtle loud-soft dynamic, the Deftones not only crushed their way out of the nu-metal sludge of the ’90s but unfolded their buzzsaw sound to expose lush, delicate soundscapes that were heavy in all new directions. Chi, like the other four members of the group, played an important part of crafting the Deftones' trademark sound, which was often more remiscent of Radiohead than Korn, a band they were mistakenly slopped together with by critics and radio DJs. I've interviewed Chi a number of times on the phone and in person and he's been nothing but gracious with his time. And he always spoke highly of the music he helped create — not because that's what a band member is supposed to do, but because he was confident in his band's musical progression. It looks like Eros, the Deftones' new album, will be delayed, and rightfully so to allow Chi time to recuperate and heal.

I've heard very little religion or spirituality from the Deftones in the 14 years I've been listening, but Chino has asked all the fans to pray for Chi and his family during this "serious but stable" phase, and hopefully he'll be on the mend very soon.